WhoDo Voodoo
by Skye Graham
Summary: An overly helpful Rodney gets Sheppard sent to the infirmary with multiple injuries and a voodoo curse to remove. If Rodney McKay doesn't kill him, John Sheppard just might live to to tell the story.


**Title:****WhoDo Voodoo**

**Author**: Skye Graham

**Rating: **K +

**Genres: **HC, WHUMP

**Word Count: 9,851**

**Spoilers: **None, set during Season 5

**Warnings:** None

**Characters:** John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan, Jennifer Keller, Marie, Dr. Bing, Richard Woolsey, Carson Beckett, Evan Lorne.

**OC's:** 'The Bettye,' Bettye Sandoval. Mrs. Mack McKenzie, Harriett Benz

**Disclaimer: **If I owned them they would still be living on Atlantis and saving the Pegasus and Milky Way Galaxies! OC's and all original ideas are mine. I make no money from this story.

**Summary: **An overly helpful Rodney gets Sheppard sent to the infirmary with multiple injuries and a voodoo curse to remove. If Rodney McKay doesn't kill him, John Sheppard just might live to to tell the story.

**WhoDo Voodoo**

It was the weirdest of sensations getting hit with an arrow. I couldn't get over the fact that I had sent everyone ahead, and I was the one who got shot in the arm with an arrow by a kid no more than ten. I hadn't seen him lurking in the small clump of bushes because I had been running full tilt to get away from the 'adults' with guns.

As I approached the DHD, McKay's blue eyes grew to the size of saucers as he turned towards me. "Sheppard, you have a _voodoo_ arrow in your arm!" He said as his voice reached an even higher pitch. I winced at the sound as I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts; and, then Rodney yelled anxiously, "Here, let me help you." Rodney was reaching out to me when Ronon suddenly appeared at my side.

"_Rodney_!" I called out as he, suddenly and without warning, grabbed my vest and started to swing me in a wide arc toward the open gate. "_Voodoo_ arrow?" _What on earth? _I only had a moment to wonder what he could be thinking before I was acutely aware of being flung through the event horizon while still in McKay's clutches. We ended up running into Ronon and continued at full speed into the Gateroom to end up on the hard floor, Rodney bellowing in my ears. "We need a med team. Sheppard's been hit by a _voodoo_ arrow!"

I looked towards McKay and promptly told him to shut up. My shoulder and arm were on fire. Ronon had grabbed my other arm trying to help me stop rolling. I tried to gain my feet but being held by both Ronon and Rodney made it impossible. They ended up pushing me towards the med team who also tried to help by trying to pull me away from Rodney and Ronon. They pulled; Ronon pulled; Rodney pulled; and, before I knew it, I was being tugged back and forth by three med techs, who were trying to get me on the gurney, and Ronon and Rodney who still wouldn't let me go.

Somewhere behind me I heard Jennifer Keller yell. "Stop!"And with that said, they did, all at once. Without hands to hold me I did a spin, which made me dizzy, causing me to fall right into the corner panel near the steps that led in the direction of the infirmary. My face smacked the panel dead on; stars promptly exploded across my vision. I had no other choice than to slide to the floor as my legs gave-way completely. Holding my bloody nose with the only good hand I had, the stars that had started out gold turned to shiny silver. My eyes were watering so badly, that I couldn't see a thing. Unfortunately, I could still hear everyone yelling, blaming each other for my fall at a decibel that was doing my new headache no good.

Once more, hands starting grabbing at me. I scooted back a few feet and held out both my hands to stave them off. That stopped them, but hurt like hell. The burning pain increased. "_Stay back!_" I realized I had yelled, so I lowered my voice to address the blurry crowd gathered around. "Just stay away from me. Back off." I was in pain and starting to feel like the only piece of meat a pack of dogs were fighting over. I was frustrated, getting angry, and simply wanted to lie on the cool floor in peace. Of course, I knew I wouldn't actually get that peace…

"Colonel. Let us…." Keller tried to get my attention.

"No! All of you stay back." Knowing I would never be allowed to simply remain sitting (or lying which seemed even more appealing) on the ground I gritted my teeth in preparation of standing. How I ever got to my feet without help I will never know, but I did. Once the world stopped spinning and I could focus my eyes-well focus might be too strong of a word, but at least I could see individual blurs that I assumed were people-I said carefully, "Now, I am going to walk myself down to the infirmary. Anyone who wants to come along…fine. But, don't touch me, grab for me, or lay your hands on me. I can do this on my own and without any more injury. OK?" I looked around, my eyes watering profusely; and then I wiped the blood from my nose with the handkerchief I always kept in my tact vest for just such emergencies. Sadly I was way too accustomed to bloody noses…sparring with Ronon and Teyla could explain some of that I suppose… After, my glare and orders to stay back, everyone had taken a step back from me as if I was a wounded animal liable to attack at any moment (which I felt like I was) except for Jennifer Keller who was now in doctor mode. I took a deep breath and focused on that closest blur, "Doc, please? Let's make this fast; I'm not feeling so good."

xoxoxo

She didn't say a word. We walked, well she walked, as I wove my way down the corridor without conversation, until we turned into the infirmary. By the time we got there she was holding me up by my good arm. Marie was the only one to greet us, her dark brown eyes wide. "Colonel?"

"Yes Marie, I know… I have an arrow in me." I walked, ever so slowly, past her and got up on the first bed I saw. God, it felt good to finally sit down, even if it was in the infirmary.

"Well Sir, I, uh, was going to say you have a black eye, and your nose is kind of turned to the right..." Keller walked to the roll cart that usually held emergency items she would use when triaging incoming teams.

She pulled on the sterile gloves with a snap and turned around, "Okay Colonel, let's take a look at you and see what this 'voodoo arrow' did to you."

"I am going to kill McKay. I'm lucky I don't have more than one arrow in me." I closed my eyes trying to block everything out. My arm and shoulder burned like hell. I felt drained, tired, and a little sick in my stomach. All I wanted to do was get all this taken care of, shower, and go to bed.

"Colonel?" she prompted. _I must have missed something;_ _I didn't realize I had drifted off._ "Let's take care of this arrow."

I opened my eyes to see Dr. Keller standing before me , holding a needle, with Marie next to her holding what looked like the biggest bolt cutters I had ever seen. . "Uh Doc, what is Marie doing with those cutters?"

She wasn't smiling, "Well, you've lost a lot of blood and we've decided to trim the arrow down to a more manageable size, so I can get you into surgery faster. I just need to give you a local, don't fuss."

Marie approached, then hesitated, "Can I touch you, Colonel?"

Marie was referring to the fiasco that had occurred in the Gateroom. "I'm sorry Doc; it got a little too grabby out there. Go ahead." I tried to smile, but failed miserably.

She smiled, "Grabby? Is that a professional reference Colonel?"

"I don't know. Can we just do this? After rolling through the gate with McKay all over me, all I could think of was hitting something or someone and having the arrow moving around again. I wanted a little more control over what was happening to me." I moved over a bit trying to get comfortable, but winced instead. "Listen Doc, I'm having trouble sitting up here. "

"I was just waiting for you Colonel. Marie is going to cut the arrow as close as she can. Once done, we will get you undressed and prepped for surgery." She turned to Marie who had moved closer with the bolt cutters. "Just let me hold the shaft and try to stabilize it before you cut the arrow shaft down to size." Keller motioned for Marie to come closer. " Colonel, just sit as still as you can."

"Oh, okay, I'll just sit still." I told her as she put her fingers on the arrow shaft. Just the slightest pressure of her fingers holding each side of the arrow sent pain radiating throughout my shoulder and down my arm. I couldn't hold a gasp back. She hesitated; I took a deep breath, "Go ahead Doc, just do it as quickly as you can. I'm ready."

"Yeah, you look like it. Do you want a local?" I shook my head no. Keller settled her feet squarely, "Come on Marie, let's get the Colonel trimmed."

"Very funny, _Gah_… _that hurt_!" I took a deep breath as the silver stars burst once more across what little vision I had left. For such little movement, my arm had begun feel like electric fire was coursing down to my fingertips.

"Would you rather I stop? I really don't want to give you anything else before surgery." she looked into my eyes her concern evident.

"No," I wanted to get this finished. Another wave of dizziness and nausea rolled over me. "Just do it!" I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. I felt Keller's hand on my shoulder and tensed, waiting for the pain to escalate. It did. The next thing I knew I was laying sideways on the bed, my legs still dangling off. The blurs that I knew to be Marie and Keller were cutting the lacing on the side of my tact vest. "What happened?" I felt like my whole world was spinning slowly out of control.

"We decided to lay you down when you started to list to the side. Marie, go call Harriet to prep the ER." Just as Marie disappeared around the corner I became aware of a sudden rush of noise coming from the other side of the curtain.

"Ronon?" Keller, turning sideways, called while still holding me with one hand as I melted further into the bed. The curtain parted slightly, and Ronon's face appeared.

"Yeah, Doc?" The curtain started to part wider. McKay stuck his head just below Ronon's arm. Ronon tried to push McKay back behind him clearly still irritated with him from the fiasco at the gate.

Dodging Ronon's arm, McKay's head bobbed up and down trying to get my attention. "Sheppard, those arrows were _voodoo_ arrows! We have to do something about that. You've been cursed!" Rodney's head was now bobbing up and around Ronon's hands.

I could feel myself sliding once again. All the noise, the commotion, the pain just seemed to run together all of a sudden. "Doc? Can you get rid of… the crowd? I…" It was looking again, once more, like the John Sheppard show. Usually by now I was totally out of it. "Doc?"

She cut me off, "Ronon come over here and help me with the Colonel. The rest of you leave. Teyla take Rodney; I want Dr. Bing to check you both out."

Rodney looked undaunted and tried to step around Ronon. "But Jennifer, those were _voodoo _arrows! We have to do something right now or Sheppard might not…"

"Come on, Rodney. You are a very valuable member of Atlantis. We must get you checked out." Teyla, God bless her, pulled Rodney out of the immediate area.

"Oh, okay. I am important to everyone. You're right. Ronon will tell Jennifer about that arrow, won't she?" The noise receded in the distance.

"Doc?" I hung my head suddenly out of steam. Everything hurt with my head, my nose, my hand, my arm, and my shoulder sending out the loudest complaints. I couldn't remember ever being undressed by Keller and Ronon. Actually I guess I never hung around long for that...

"Ronon be careful of that arrow's short end. Help me get the rest of his clothes off." They began to tug at my clothes with me playing rag doll in between before I blessedly faded into oblivion.

xoxoxo

"Well, he's back with us. Colonel? Can you open your eyes for me?" The damn light was back.

I blinked and tried to force my eyelids to open; they kept closing as fast as I could get them open. "Nooo-don't know why-I- can't."

"It's okay. You're in post op. Are you in any pain?" the faceless voice asked.

"No…thirsty." Suddenly a cold spoon was stuck between my lips. I took only a few chips. I couldn't seem to keep my dammed eyes from closing.

xoxoxo

The next time I woke, the room was dark and quiet except for the beeping machines. I remembered waking up in post op and getting a few chips of ice. I turned my head slightly as best as I could to locate where I was in the infirmary. I was in the back isolation area in a partially raised bed with pillows propping me up. My shoulder was immobile; my lower left arm in a black cast strapped to my chest. I lifted my good hand to touch my nose; it had tape over the bridge, but it wasn't packed.

"You haven't been in the infirmary as a patient in a while: well, except for standard checkups." Standing at the open curtain was Jennifer Keller, arms folded, smiling. "How are you feeling?"

" 'kay." Boy did my voice sound raspy and low. I tried to clear it the best I could.

"Actually you're doing remarkably well considering Rodney rolled over you in the gate room and broke the radial bone in your arm. I've set it, and we put on a cast. I hope you like black? The arrow had a very weird tip; I saved it for you. It went at an angle under the top of your armhole and hit your upper shoulder. It probably got you turned to run to the gate. I really had a hard time getting that one in the shoulder out. Your nose is broken- thanks to my team or yours. Sorry about that." She smiled and gave a slight shrug. "On the bright side we saved your clothes. The t-shirt only has a couple of small holes in it, and all you'll need is new lacing for your tact vest."

"Concussion?" my head was pounding like a…so...

"Mild, we will have to keep an 'eye,' on you, so to speak; but your black eye will be spectacular. Dr. Bing straightened your nose. Let me know if you experience any dizziness, severe headaches, nausea."

"Great. My head is already pounding like crazy." I rubbed my hand over my eyes thinking to erase the fatigue I felt.

"You'll be hurting for a few days until everything settles down. The arrow hit bone, no damage to the bone itself; you were lucky. You'll be really sore. I had to cut you open more than I wanted to just to get at it. You have to see the tip on this thing- it's amazing it didn't do more damage." She inserted quite a large needle into the IV port attached to my good arm.

All of a sudden I yawned. "Thanks, Doc; I'm…." I shifted down in the bed, trying to move the weight off my arm and shoulder. All of a sudden I couldn't keep my eyes open. "Thanks for moving me back here. I think… I'm…."

xoxoxo

Between waking, sleeping; and, the windowless part of the infirmary I was in, I had no concept of time. I had been aware of people coming and going, taking temperatures and feeling my forehead asking me who was the president and how old I was. I didn't really care. I was warm, comfortable, and probably drugged to the gills. Keller must have given me something for pain, because I was content to drift in and out until someone decided to start tapping my face. "Gah, stop it." I slapped at the hand and opened my eyes to see Rodney McKay's huge blue eyes and something blue hovering about five inches from my face. "Get away McKay!" I turned my face away and thrust my good arm out to push him away. Somehow our arms collided, and I got pushed to the side of the bed. The next thing I knew I was rolling off and onto the cold floor. "Dammit, what are you trying to do, finish me off?" I sat up struggling with the IV lines stretched almost to their limits.

"Sheppard! I was trying to take the curse off. When, you wouldn't respond; I thought you were dead!" Rodney yelled my name loud enough to wake the dead. The next thing I knew, he was again in my face. "Are you okay? Here let me put some of this blue powder on your forehead. I was told it would help."

"Rodney! Get away… from me." He started reaching for me again, with those blue- tipped fingers, at the same time I started sliding backwards to the wall behind me." While the fingers of his left hand were blue there was a large red dot on his forehead. "Rodney! Stop. What is that on your forehead?" One minute I was warm and comfortable in my bed and then all of a sudden I was on the cold floor, IV lines stretched to the max, with McKay looking wild-eyed, poking a blue finger at me. Could this get any weirder?

Keller and Marie suddenly appeared pulling Rodney back until Jennifer could get to where I was half-propped up against the wall my IV popping out of my arm right before her eyes. "What is going on? Colonel Sheppard, how did you get on the floor?"

I was in some serious pain from the fall to the marble floor. Now my hip hurt, my stomach was churning; I had to shake my head just to clear the dizziness, and my arm and shoulder were on fire. I just sat there half-sitting, half-reclining against the wall, blood dripping down my only good arm. A soft hand cradled my face, and I leaned into that caress looking into Keller's face. "Hi, Doc."

"You okay?" she continued to look into my face. "How many fingers?"

"A whole hand full." I could see her frown. She never liked my smart-ass answers. "Colonel?"

"Oh, okay.. three. Just help me up off the floor," I tried to at least sit up properly, but found I was going to need help. All of a sudden there were six people staring at me from the end of the bed: Rodney, Keller, Marie, Ronon, Woolsey, and Teyla. I hated being so drugged up that I hadn't even been aware anyone else had come in.

Suddenly, I was pulled from my thoughts, as Keller was gently pulled to her feet; and a large hand was extended to me. My buddy Ronon was always there where and when I needed any help with his impressive physical presence and quiet voice. I carefully extended my uninjured hand (except for the dripping blood from where the IV had been ripped out of course) and accepted the hand up.

My legs were shaky, so I let Ronon continue to support me as otherwise I knew I would end up in a heap on the floor once again. I cradled my casted arm. Ronon lowered his head, so that he could talk into my ear, "You need help getting back in bed?"

"Sure." I whispered. I wasn't sure I could climb up by myself without causing more problems. Ronon stood in front of me helping me without anyone being aware of it. Or at least I thought no one else was aware.

"Oh, come on with the whispering.' McKay was frowning. "I hate whispering." His voice mirrored his exasperation. "Now, do you all see why I needed to paint Sheppard? This will help alleviate the curse." Rodney looked around, "Why are you all starring at me like that? What?"

Ronon helped me get back into bed. As I lay down I could see everyone staring at me. I cleared my throat, swallowed hard, and closed my eyes to block the stars. "Guys, some room, would you?"

Just then, Woolsey spoke for the first time, "Ok let's give Colonel Sheppard a little breathing space. Why don't you all go get something to eat in the mess. I'm sure Dr. Keller will call when the colonel can have visitors." He began to move them all out, save for Keller and Marie. Teyla ushered Rodney out while Ronon and Woolsey stayed.

I could still hear Rodney protesting all the way out of the infirmary, "What's wrong, do you think he's OK? I did what I could. Those really were _voodoo_ arrows. I mean we always stay with Sheppard. Hey, why does Conan get to stay?"

"The colonel needs rest Rodney, and you need to keep your strength up…" Teyla's distinctive voice was the last I heard as they all left. Amazing how quiet it got when McKay was out of the room.

xoxoxo

Marie and Keller were busy getting me settled. I just lay there with my eyes closed, feeling like I had been hit by a bus. They adjusted the pillows, covers, and performed every kind of reading and check they could that didn't involve my cooperation. Finally they stopped. The room was dead silent.

"I know you're not asleep Colonel." Keller opened one of my eyelids and flashed a light right into my already dilated retina.

"Doc! What are you trying…?" My stomach did a flip. The only thing I could do was lean over the bed's edge, "Doc, I... I'm…gonna…." I couldn't hold it back any longer; I threw up all over Mr. Woolsey's perfectly shined shoes.

"Oh, well, Colonel, uh, I'll leave you in Dr. Keller's capable hands. I will come back when you are feeling... better." With that he beat a hasty retreat.

"Colonel, you should be ashamed of yourself." She admonished taking a cold towel and wiping my face and the blue dots off for me. She laughed, "Colonel you've just made my day. I don't think I've ever seen Mr. Woolsey leave a room so fast. Marie, get that basin for him while I get something to settle his stomach." "

"Sorry Doc, I didn't…" I put my hand over my mouth. I always did hate vomiting. It was one side effect of getting injured I could live without. It was Ronon that supplied the small basin.

I sat heaving what little was left in my stomach in the very small pink tray Ronon had thrust under my face. Not one of my finer moments. When I was finished, Ronon took the tray, handed me some water to sip and wiped my face off asking as he did, "You okay?" I could only nod.

Jennifer Keller returned just as I lay back panting not from the strain but to alleviate the queasy feeling in my gut. She once more injected something into my IV and suddenly the sickness began to ease. I could feel myself starting to relax. Thank God for modern medicine.

The next time I opened my eyes voluntarily, I noticed that my headache was almost gone. I could still feel the ache in my shoulder and arm, but the pain wasn't anywhere as bad as before. The room was dark and silent. I shifted my legs and heard a movement next to the bed. I turned my head in the direction of the noise to see Ronon slumped in the chair he must have pulled up to the bed. I didn't wake him; I just shifted a little to take the pressure off my arm and closed my eyes.

xoxoxo

I knew the minute I opened my eyes that I was still in the infirmary. All the old familiar noises and smells assaulted my senses in one big wave. Funny, I didn't remember any smells last night. The only thing I knew was that I needed to go to the bathroom. I sat up gingerly, carefully. No headache, good. Not much pain in my shoulder, also good. Best of all, only one IV. Getting to my feet was another matter altogether. I glanced around for Ronon, as I slid to my feet. He was gone, and I was all alone. I carefully grabbed the IV pole and shuffled barefoot to the bathroom. Just as I opened the door I heard a noise behind me.

"Going somewhere Colonel Sheppard?" It was 'The Bettye.' She must have just come on duty for she was crisp from head to toe in blazingly white scrubs and matching shoes. She was an imposing figure standing six feet tall, her beautiful red hair pulled back from her face in a ponytail, her strong hands fisted on her ample hips. She was a big, strong Irish woman in her late forties. Next to my Aunt Peg, she was also the sweetest person I had ever known. I _liked_ and _feared_ the woman; she was an enigma to me.

"I was taking myself to the bathroom." I flashed my best innocent forgive-me smile that had managed to get me out of plenty of trouble throughout my life. Unfortunately, she frowned.

"Oh ya were, were ya? And just who said ya could do that?" She walked toward me, her arm stretched out.

I held up my one fracture-free arm to halt her progress. "Now Bettye, we have been through this before. I only need one good hand. I can take care of this myself."

She smiled. "Sure?"

I looked her straight in the eyes; she could always tell if I was lying, "Yes ma'am."

Her eyes smiled before her mouth did, "Then git, pretty boy."

I opened the door and let myself in. 'Pretty boy.' She always called me 'pretty boy.' In front of everyone else she called me 'Colonel' just like I only called her _The Bettye _when no one else was around. Where we had started the name thing I couldn't remember. She was quite a woman... Becket had known it, and Jennifer had learned quickly how fast _The Bettye_ could handle me. She was the only woman to whom I couldn't or dare say no to.

It was easier to go to the bathroom this time than many of the other times I had been confined to the infirmary. I hated someone helping me: it was one of those things I preferred to do alone. Sure, it was awkward, but I managed fine on my own. I emerged from the bathroom, not long after, under my own steam, feeling pretty proud I hadn't needed assistance.

Bettye was waiting for me. She had changed the sheets and pillow cases on my bed. She even had what looked like a breakfast tray for me. "I stopped, on the way over, to bring you something for breakfast. Cook picked it out for you. Not too heavy for yer stomach, but substantial enough for ya to know you've eaten."

She helped me climb under the bedclothes. She knew I wanted to do things for myself. She always let me try before helping me if I needed it. Unlike other times, today I was doing pretty well.

"Thanks. I feel pretty good this morning. I hurt in quite a few places but nothing a few pain pills won't help."

"I don't know what we are going to do with you 'pretty boy.' Dr. Keller will be with you in a little while. Now eat before it gets cold." With that she left as quietly as she had come.

Cook had hand-delivered some fresh homemade, biscuits with jelly, blue jello and some hot chocolate with marshmallows. She knew just how to spoil me. She seemed to always know just what I needed. It was just another one of those things I could count on to piss McKay off on a regular basis.

"Well, looks like someone is already eating breakfast. Nurse Bettye _and_ Cook? Those women just dote on you don't they?" Jennifer walked over carrying a cup of hot chocolate similar to mine, no marshmallows.

"Yeah, you don't mind do you? I'm feeling better. I'm sore in places, out and out hurting in others." I took a sip of the hot chocolate. It warmed me all the way down.

"Well?" she asked sitting crossing her arms and starring at me.

"Well, what?" I really had no idea what she was asking about.

"I'm thinking about letting you go tomorrow." She tilted her dark head to the left and raised her eyebrows as if to gauge how I would take it.

"Are you serious?" I had no idea this was coming. Even I hadn't had the time to think about leaving the infirmary, which if you asked anyone, was rare for me.

"Sheppard, you know I wouldn't tease you about this. I still want you here tonight, just to make sure everything is okay. You have an odd assortment of injuries I'll grant you, nothing life threatening; but I want to regulate your medication. No duty at all for 2 weeks, then only light duty after that. No gate/off world travel, no hand to hand, no stick-play with Teyla, until the arm completely heals."

" 'kay." I popped another bite of biscuit in my mouth and shifted to lay back on the pillows.

"You're taking all this very well considering…" she smiled and gestured with her hand, "well…everything."

"Everything?" I was puzzled.

"Yeah, uh, everything. You know, the '_voodoo_' arrow, your broken nose, the black eye, concussion, and the broken arm." She rested her hand on my leg, patting it gently.

"Jennifer I have seen some pretty strange things since I came to Atlantis. I've been shot, stunned, tortured, clubbed, kicked, kidnapped, turned into a bug, crashed/or been shot down in my jumper, and been fed on by a Wraith. I think I can survive McKay; I'll be fine." I patted her hand right back and smiled. "Thanks for taking care of me. I know…I don't say it…often enough"

Her smile was quick, "You're very welcome." She left me alone after that. I sat there thinking about all the strange things that had happened in the last few days.

Later that afternoon _The Bettye_ took the IV out for good and then rolled me out on the secluded balcony off the infirmary. She left me there in a very comfortable lounge chair, with a blanket over my lap. It was absolute bliss despite the aches and pains until the wind picked up and blew dust straight into my face. I couldn't help inhale some of the dust and then suddenly I couldn't breathe. The quiet was broken by McKay yelling, " Help! We need help here, I think I've killed Sheppard!"

xoxoxo

Four days later I made it to my room under my own steam with a minimal escort of one- Teyla. Rodney had tried to remove the 'voodoo curse' by throwing some kind of powder around my head and had caused me have one grand allergic reaction. It had been Dr. Bing that found that I was allergic to the powder Rodney had used on his 'remove the curse potion.' After that he was banned from coming anywhere near me until I was more able to fight him off. Funny, I would have bet McKay was not one to believe in curses, but then we're talking Rodney. You never knew with him.

Since I was off limits to Rodney, and Ronon had spent so much time with me already; it was Teyla who had come for me as asked. She was wearing her Atlantis uniform. For some reason, since Woolsey had come, she had refrained from wearing her Athosian clothing. She had brought me a pair of black sweat pants, an old, faded red t-shirt, and tennis shoes for me to walk in.

I thought the door open. She lightly put her hand on my chest. "Wait until I check this out John." She stepped into the room turning on the light with a wave of her hand. "It's okay, come on in."

"Tey…la?" I couldn't believe my eyes. Not one thing was in the same place I had left it in. My bed was on the opposite wall, the Johnny Cash poster was near the door, and my desk and computer sat where my bed used to be. Around the bed there was drawn a blue rectangle in what looked like heavy chalk. I plopped down in the chair that sat near my bed.

"Rodney insisted on changing the room around." She set the bag that held my things from the infirmary on the side table . She gave me a sheepish look and continued, "Rodney is convinced you were shot with _voodoo_ arrows. He is insisting on giving you the 'voodoo removal curse," and the first thing to do is start new- hence the moving around of everything in your room."

"So I've heard." What else could I say? I shifted in my chair, lifted my feet up, and put them on the bed. "And who told him that?"

Teyla moved to sit opposite me on the bed near my feet. "I am afraid Ronon and I are at fault." She raised her hand to stop me from saying anything. "Rodney was not moving fast enough. Ronon told him to watch out for the _voodoo_ arrows; you know how Rodney is. To keep Rodney moving faster, Ronon told Rodney about the arrows being cursed."

"Umm." I just stared at her. She shifted uncomfortably as I continued to look into her contrite eyes. "Why don't you wear your Athosian clothes anymore?"

"What?" she looked taken aback.

"You wear your uniform now." I knew it was a question out of the blue, and I could see that it surprised her. "Why don't you wear them?"

She looked down, and sighed, "John, I do not know what to say."

I leaned over and put a finger under her chin, "I think you do."

"John, why do you want to know?" She sat back out of reach. I leaned back in the chair, shifting to get comfortable.

"I don't know, I was thinking that earlier when I woke up and noticed you and Woolsey standing together. I just wondered why?"

"What does this have to do with Rodney?" her voice was quiet and steady.

"Nothing. It just popped in my head. Weird, huh? I decided to let the subject end unless she decided to tell me.

"I am fine. It makes me feel more professional." She smiled and patted my leg. "Come, let me help you lie down. We can talk about Rodney's _voodoo_ arrows later." She smiled again; this time the smile reached her eyes.

"I figured you'd say that." I got up on my own, which was still hard with my shoulder and arm bothering me. Once I actually lay down, my whole body just sank into the thin, hard mattress. Funny, I'd never noticed that before. Teyla gave me two pills and some water. After that I fell asleep, happy to be in my room once more - alone.

xoxoxo

"Look Mr. Woolsey. We have to do something. Yes, I'm in his room. No, it's just me."

I couldn't believe my ears, here was Rodney in my room talking to Woolsey. I opened up my eyes expecting to see Rodney and Woolsey, only to see just Rodney standing across the room staring out the window. There was a dusty smell to the room. I might throw my clothes around the room occasionally but I always made sure it was clean and dust free.

Facing the window Rodney was so wrapped up in his conversation that he did not see me struggle to sit up on the side of the bed closest to the door and slip my feet into the shoes Teyla had conveniently left there for me. As quietly as I possibly could, I got up and walked right out the already open door of my quarters. I walked as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast at all, to the last place anyone would think to look for me - the infirmary. I was not ready to deal with Rodney, or anyone for that matter. Before all this I had had little sleep on the mission prior to to the arrow mission. All I wanted was some down time.

The infirmary was very quiet. Walking through, I noticed the clock above the posted schedules read 5:30. That meant _The Bettye_ would be there, and I knew I could count on her to let me stay as long as I wanted.

"And you'd be goin' where 'pretty-boy'?"

I didn't even turn around. I just continued my slow walk through the infirmary. Half way a strong hand landed on my good shoulder and steered me to the small private room in the back. I couldn't decide if I was having difficulty breathing or not. I didn't feel well but I couldn't tell why. It was as if I were a homing pigeon on autopilot. I climbed onto the freshly made bed.

I coughed. Damn if my head and chest hadn't started to hurt. I tried to take a deep breath, and the room just went crazy. It tilted, I tilted and lost what little food I had ingested earlier all over the side of the bed. Again. This was getting old.

I fell back only to find a hand cradling my head. I didn't open my eyes. I knew who it was, "Bettye," my voice was very low and the sound that came out was raspy, as if my throat had been sandpapered, "I can't breathe."

"Colonel, I think you're havin' another reaction to the same allergen that kept you here last time. Have you been around Dr. McKay?" I heard her click her ear com. "Stay still. Dr. Beckett, this is Bettye. Col. Sheppard's here. He's havin' a hard time breathing." She paused listening and patting my chest lightly. "Yes, I will."

The next thing I knew I was being hooked up to an IV while an oxygen mask was being strapped to my face. I tried to remove the mask; so I could talk, but every time I did, a hand pulled it back in place. "What's going on…why can't I breathe? Rodney didn't do anything."

Carson appeared from nowhere and began listening to my chest, checking my blood pressure. I tried to take a deep breath and started coughing . "Bettye get me the same meds they used earlier when he had the reaction to that powder Rodney dosed him with. Ask Dr. Keller come in here and help me. She was here when he had the reaction the first time."

Things got interesting after that. I lay there while Carson and Keller worked removing my clothes, giving me shots, intravenous drips and taking samples of blood and saliva. Once they were done, Bettye sponged me down and gave me clean clothes. It seemed like forever before they finally let me rest. At least I was breathing easier.

"Well laddie," Carson was holding his computer pad. Jennifer waved goodbye over his shoulder as she returned to her quarters. I had responded so quickly to the drugs she had used earlier to save me from McKay, that Beckett no longer felt the need for back-up. "Somehow you've come into contact with that powder again. I told you to go directly to your room."

"I did." My voice was barely a whisper. "It's not like I did it on purpose. I did go; Teyla took me."

"Did you touch anything, make a detour?" He was frowning.

"No, you can ask Teyla. She walked me there; we didn't see anyone. She left; and when I woke up, Rodney was there talking to Woolsey."

"Rodney and Woolsey were both there?" He sat the computer tablet on the table and crossed his arms.

"No, Rodney was there, and he was talking to Woolsey on his headset. That's when I began to feel peculiar." I started to cough again. Carson helped me sip some water.

"Rodney? What the bloody hell was he doin' there?" Beckett looked at me as if I could explain the crazy inner workings of one Dr. Rodney McKay. I thought that was impossible, so instead focused on what I did know.

I cleared my throat, "Yeah. When Teyla and I got to my room someone had rearranged everything. I took the medication you told me to take and when I woke up my door was wide open and Rodney was standing across the room, talking to Woolsey. When I realized that I was beginning to feel like I couldn't breath I got up and left. I didn't say anything to Rodney."

"Why? You've never come to the infirmary on your own before." It was a statement of fact. I hadn't, voluntarily.

"I…uh..didn't…." I closed my eyes. I didn't want to say it and see Carson's reaction.

"What?" He spoke very quietly.

"I didn't know where else to go. I didn't want to freak Rodney out; you know how he is." I used Rodney as my excuse to come where I felt safest when I didn't feel well.

"What? Now I've heard everything." I felt his hand on my arm.

"It was weird. I woke up feeling kinda weird. My headache was bad, but I was starting to feel panicky because I was having trouble breathing. I tried to control it." I cracked my eyes open to see his reaction.

"Laddie, there is naught wrong with coming here. It's a good thing ya did. Had you waited any longer you'd be in respiratory arrest." He walked towards the med cabinet and removed a small bottle of clear fluid. "I'm going to give you something to sleep. You need rest, and I need food."

I knew it; I wasn't going back to my quarters. Hell, they didn't even feel like mine anymore. I just closed my eyes and let the sedative work.

xoxoxo

I woke in the semi-darkness to the sound of snoring; it wasn't mine. Slumped in a chair next to my bed was Richard Woolsey, dressed in his Atlantis work clothes. By habit I glanced at my watch, which wasn't there. In my struggle to sit up I grunted, and Richard Woolsey bolted up from his chair. From my seated position on the bed I reached out and touched his arm. "It's okay. Sorry I woke you."

He cleared his throat, "Ah, Colonel, I just came to see you before I turned in. I guess I fell asleep." He stood while I arranged myself more comfortably.

"It's late Richard; what brings you here?" He had that I have to talk to you look.

He looked at his watch. "I know it's after midnight, but we need to talk."

"At midnight no less. What's wrong?" I tried to move the loose pillow behind my back to help me sit up better. Woolsey ended up helping me arrange it. "Okay, let's have it."

He looked quite uncomfortable. His hands were fluttering like a bird that didn't know where to light. He grabbed for the bedside bars and hung on. "It's Dr. McKay."

"What's wrong with Rodney?" Something was up, and Richard Woolsey had been talked into being a part of whatever Rodney had cooked up. "What has he talked you into?"

Woolsey let out a long breath, "John."

"Go ahead, and just tell me." Now I was getting annoyed. "Come on, Richard."

"I think you should let Rodney remove the _voodoo _curse."

I started laughing out loud. I couldn't help it. It was so absurd. "You want me to let Rodney-the scientist- remove the _voodoo_ curse?" Laughing hurt too many places. I just lay back on the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. This was too wild even for me to take seriously, much less Woolsey.

"Colonel- John, if I may? I have debriefed everyone from your team's last mission."

"And?" I sent him a glare that had worked on many a soldier.

"I know you didn't have anything to do with the voodoo story, but I think what's best for all concerned is to allow Dr. McKay to remove the curse, so to speak."

This was getting out of hand. Now Rodney had Woolsey believing the story. "Mr. Woolsey… Richard, there _is_ no voodoo curse. Why Rodney believes this I'll never know."

"Teyla." Woolsey stated.

"Pardon me, Teyla? What does Teyla have to do with this?" I was sitting up straight, glaring into his troubled face.

"She and Ronon told Dr. McKay that the arrows were _voodoo_ arrows to keep him moving. Right after that you were hit; he believed the curse idea."

"I already know all this. There _is_ no curse!" I still couldn't believe McKay would let Ronon or Teyla convince him of _voodoo_ arrows. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes in disbelief.

"I know that, and you know that, but Dr. McKay refuses to believe otherwise. You see Ronon told him that the arrow would only hit those with the ATA gene- hence, the curse. Since you were hit you have gotten a broken nose and arm, a black eye, and an allergic reaction to that dust he used. He thinks that the longer he waits the more will happen to you." Woolsey crossed his arms over his chest. That told me in an instant that he believed firmly our only recourse was to humor Rodney and get all this over once and all.

"You know I still can't see Rodney going for it." Either I was missing some information or someone wasn't telling me the whole story. "What haven't you told me?"

"Well you remember when that group of people that began chasing your team?"

"Yes, one minute we were talking nicely, and then all hell breaks loose. What else haven't you told me about all this?"

"You see it was Rodney's fault. Back in the camp he touched one of the arrows that kid later shot you with. You aren't supposed to do that. The arrows are sacred. Only the chosen can hold the bow with the sacred arrows. Ronon and Teyla just helped it along to get Rodney to move faster." Woolsey stood up crossing is arms across his chest.

"That's why they got so mad. When I got back from talking to the head guy Rodney was yelling run, so I did. I saw Dr. Paskey and Teyla head for the the gate so I started running to catch up with them. That is when I got shot by that kid." This story was getting bigger and bigger by the minute. There probably was more, but at this point I really didn't care.

"You know Rodney had changed my room around." I looked to Woolsey for conformation.

"That, Colonel, is an understatement." Frowning he continued, "He even has you a new bed waiting."

"Bed, where did he get it from?" Even, I hadn't been able to get a new one. Something always came up, and I got stuck with the small single mattress that was way too short for me to sleep on. I hadn't been comfortable in bed in over four years.

"Well you do now. That's why I am here."

"Because of the bed, or because Rodney is running us all crazy with this voodoo business?" I closed my eyes to rest a minute. Even the infirmary beds were more comfortable than mine, and that wasn't saying much. "Okay, what do you want me to do?"

Woolsey sat back down and began to explain. After Woolsey left I lay there thinking about everything he had said, and I couldn't disagree with a single thing. Tomorrow, well in the morning, I would be getting both 'exorcised' and new living quarters. I was just hoping my head was not going to be spinning around on my shoulders while I spoke in tongues and projectile vomited. That would scare Rodney, and me, even more.

xoxoxo

This time I did sleep through the whole night. The morning nurse woke me checking vitals and removing my IV. I made it to the bathroom on my own and in time to see cook bring me my breakfast. She was smiling and carrying a large covered tray. "Col. Sheppard I brought you breakfast a little earlier than you usually eat it, but I thought you wouldn't mind. Mr. Woolsey said you were going to be busy this morning, and I thought maybe you'd want something on your stomach before you got up."

"You didn't have to do that Mrs. Mack. I could have come by later." I sat down on the side of the bed.

"If you don't mind me saying, young man, that's not quite been working for you lately, has it?" she smiled and helped me get my legs on the bed and covered me with the turned backed covers. She adjusted the tray table before rolling it over my lap.

I felt myself smiling as she took the control and carefully raised me in the bed, "Yeah, I guess that's true." I picked up the main dish cover and stared down at the French toast and one soft-boiled egg. "Mrs. Mack, I think I love you. Thank you."

Blushing profusely, she winked at me, then turned and left. "Enjoy your breakfast Colonel." she called over her shoulder.

xoxoxo

The meal was wonderful. I couldn't remember when I'd last had French toast. Just as I had popped the last piece of egg in my mouth Carson came walking around the curtain that concealed my bed from the rest of the infirmary. He carried a small metal tray that was covered with a snow white linen cloth.

"Well laddie, how do we feel today?"

"Fine, Carson, _we_ feel fine. What's up with the covered tray?" Something was up.

"How about you go get cleaned up in the bathroom, you know brush your teeth, change your underwear, whatever, while I tidy things up here." Beckett was smirking.

There was definitely something going on. The last time someone told me to go clean up, brush my teeth and change underwear I was probably five years old. He pushed the roll cart away from the bed and started helping me out of the bed. "Come on, Laddie, I have things to do and other patients to help this morning."

"Really, all those other patients getting the personal Carson Beckett treatment, too?" He pushed me into the bathroom and shut the door.

"Why son you're my favorite patient though I would rather see you anywhere except the infirmary."

I noticed once I got into the bathroom there was a clean set of everything: undershirt, track pants, underwear, socks, and anything else I might need to make myself presentable to more than the infirmary staff. Someone had been busy. Normally I didn't like anyone going through my things but I told myself to forget it and cleaned up and dressed like the good doctor said. Getting to the bathroom yesterday had been tiring but I was feeling better. I cleaned up before I put my clean clothes on. Pulling my pants up with one hand took more energy then I had ever thought possible. I sagged down tiredly on the small shower seat standing against one wall of the bathroom.

The door to the small room suddenly opened to reveal Carson's worried face," You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm a little tired." I sat there holding my socks and shirt not knowing if I had enough energy to get either of them on. I dropped my head to my chest and closed my eyes, marshaling my strength. A sharp sting to my arm made me turn my head so fast that I got a little dizzy. "Dammit Carson what did you just do?"

He patted my arm and pulled the t-shirt out of my hand quickly pulling it over my head without even answering first. "Let's get this shirt on pronto and the socks too. I just gave you a little vitamin shot to help you. You've taken so long I was almost afraid I'd find you passed out on the tiles."

I smiled. One face replaced two. "You almost did. I think I overdid it." Suddenly I felt what little strength I had left leave me, almost like I had been drugged. "Carson, I think I'm gonna…pass…out..." The last thing I heard was Carson calling Ronon before I blacked out and sagged into his arms.

xoxoxo

I could smell the sea…and baby powder. I even felt like I was floating on a soft cloud. I cracked one eye open hoping I was still in Atlantis and tried to move. I had to blink to clear my eyes. I was lying on a _real _bed. The smell of the ocean was coming in from the open double doors. I turned my head from side to side looking to see where I was. Surrounding my bed murmuring stood Rodney, Ronon, Teyla, Carson, Bettye, Lorne, Keller, and Mr. Woolsey. Each had a big blue dot on their foreheads and had what looked like powder sprinkled on their shoulders and arms. Rodney carried what looked like a stick with one of the arrow heads attached with shells and weeds attached.

"What the hell is going on here Rodney?" I tried to sit up only to have Keller gently press a hand to my shoulder forcing me back to the soft pillowy surface. This must be Rodney's little show. I realized that Carson had tried to spare me the whole ritual but I would just play it for real for McKay's sake.

"John, we are so glad to see you awake. We are almost finished, aren't we Rodney?" Jennifer had such a sweet smile.

Rodney too, smiled at me, " Sheppard we _are_ almost finished. All you have to do is spit in your hand and mix it with the blue color on your forehead. We do the same at the same time and its over." He looked so sincere. I had the greatest urge to laugh out loud but held my council.

I found myself spitting into my own palm, and slapping it to my forehead rubbing the mess around. Everyone just looked at me; I stared back. "Well? Go ahead, you guys, do it, too." Rodney frowned. "Oh no, Rodney, you do it, too. I'm not going through this again, so you better get the group thing going."

"But?" Rodney looked disgusted at the thought that he too must join in the ritual.

I did sit up then. "Okay guys, all of you, _do it_! I don't want to be cursed anymore." The last was a bit much, but I knew Rodney might not complete the ritual he had started; and I for one was going to make sure he did. After all it was his fault.

One by one, they all did it. It was disgusting but worth my doing it to see everyone else spitting into their own hands and rubbing their collective foreheads. I smiled, "Okay everybody _get_ out of my new room. I have some sleep to catch up on in my new bed." I laid back down, smiling to myself as I remembered my friends spitting on their hands and rubbing their foreheads until they were blue too.

All of a sudden the room started emptying of people. They said goodbye one by one until only Rodney was left. "Sheppard, I hope I did this right. You know I didn't mean all this to happen to you."

"I know." I was adjusting my head on my new pillow. " Oh and Rodney?"

"What Sheppard?" He took a step closer to the bed.

"Thanks for saving me... and getting me a new bed... and a pillow...and a room... and.." I was interrupted by a noise coming from the door.

Ronon walked back into the room, dropped a wet paper towel on the bed, and grabbed Rodney by the scruff of his neck. "You too Rodney." He pulled McKay backwards out the door. "Come on McKay, we're done. See you later Sheppard; I'll be back with dinner."

I smiled and laid back onto the very soft surface that was my new bed and pillow and scrubbed my forehead with the paper towel. "Thanks Ronon, I think I'm going to take that nap now. I heard the door swish closed. I took a breath of cool, sea air and baby powder and closed my eyes, resting in my new quarters. Before I could sleep, I locked my door mentally and settled down, alone for the first time in a long time.

finis


End file.
